Tuesday, December 17, 2013


Na taong tayong
Aking kabiyak.

Lungkot at pighati;
Ikaw lamang
Ang kasama.

Susuko, o iiwan
Mananatili sa
Iyong tabi.

Ay hindi tanikala.
Dakila, nagpapalaya
Sa iyong piling.

Ang umibig ay
Lumaban; di puros

Man o sa kagipitan
Walang aasahan kundi
Isa't isa.

Na hindi magbabago,
magiging tapat tayong

Sa iyong tabi sakaling
kailangan ng

Ika'y gayon din
Maging sa ating huling

Monday, July 29, 2013

RH, again.

I am a woman who support RH. Reproductive health. I want a healthy uterus and cervix that will produce a smart and critical little Filipino. I don't want to die during childbirth because I want to be there to raise my child/children. I also want to enjoy intimacy with my husband without having to worry if doing so will mean we'll settle for less than our ideal lifestyle. I don't want to have lots of kids to take care of that I'll end up ignoring my husband and he'll start womanizing because I don't have time to spend with him. I want to have a choice as to how to live my life, conceive, rear and raise my family. We are practicing natural family planning because it works for us and I've been given proper education and have access to a doctor who gave us information on what would be safest for us since I already had a miscarriage. But I know some people don't have access to information or a doctor and I think that is unfair. I say give them access to information and contraception and see our country breed smarter, healthier and more aware citizens.

Monday, March 18, 2013

On Kristel's death

While I lament and condole with Kristel's family, I must say I agree with this. Kids these days are getting things the easy way, everything is instant, a download away, a click away. They are too sheltered.

While my advocacy for analogue might look like a hopeless hipster cause for some, I am doing this to remind myself that some things are worth the wait (e.g. to have your films processed and developed; to wait for the needle to finish one track; to read an entire book before watching an easy 1 hour and a half movie).

It would be sacrilege to compare what I've gone through in college to what Kristel did.

I had the same problems, maybe; I'm not even aware of all the other problems they had. I had to ask the Vice Chancellor for Academic Affairs for promissory note to extend payment due date for me, I had it hard. I was paying only PhP200 per unit then, roughly 5-8k per semester dependent on the number of units, lab, etc. I am not the eldest, I was the youngest and with it came the pressure of ensuring that my parents, who are both senior citizens that time and living on their pensions, wouldn't need to provide for me anymore, and in turn, I will provide for them. My mom had to pawn the priciest set of jewelry she owned; my dad had to go to loan sharks and use his pension as collateral to come up with tuition money for me; my brother had to get bank loans to support us, as he is already married then, supporting his growing family and me, my dad and my mom on the side.

Instead of thinking of the shame I'll probably go through if I stopped studying due to lack of finances, I capitalized on wits and worked harder. I worked as a student assistant to earn extra money; a registration assistant to be able to organize my load so I can fit Student Assistant hours into my class schedule; I blogged and looked for paid ads/sponsored posts that would pay for me to write (which paid for most of my thesis expenses); I always had packed lunch and merienda so I don't spend money at the school canteen or the mall for lunch; I worked for the editorial board of the college yearbook so I get to get a graduation photo and yearbook package for free (it costs around 7k) and for the yearbook and studio packages to treat us for free dinners; I walked about a kilometer going home just so I can save 7 pesos on my fare; and I don't go out with my friends on weekends because I don't have money to buy fastfood or go shopping.

I was raised by parents who instilled that hardwork, is just as important as education. I wasn't raised a spoiled brat who'd go asking my dad to give me money and buy me clothes, bags, shoes or whatnot. I know that their obligation to me is to feed me, provide a roof above my head and send me to school, it ends there. All the rest are just wants that can be set aside for now, things that I can all acquire and enjoy once I am employed.

I could've committed suicide, if I was the instant-solution type of kid, I would've. But instead, I thought, if I die, who'd pay for the coffin, the cemetery lot and all the costs of decently burying someone? If I die, who would take care of my parents and provide for them when they get really old? I can solve my petty problems of having a hard life, but it would cause a greater problem of an even harder life for my family, specifically my parents who'd already worked so hard only to find all their investments on me turn into smoke if I committed suicide.

To Parents: I know you'd want to give everything and anything to your children, especially if you've already had it hard. Don't love your kids so much that they become too soft, but don't leave them without support and ignore them that they become too hard. Stress to them the importance of patience, perseverance, self-worth and of life. Teach them that it's better to start from the bottom and work your way to the top.

[edit] I wrote this without the intent of comparing what I've gone through with what she did. I am simply writing down how things happened to me and how they turned out. I have had a 'suicide phase' as well. Between highschool and college, my reason if ever was life is unfair, because our family was really having a hard time then, I won't even wanna start with how our family ended up like that.

Suicide rates are increasing, coming from a supposed 'optimistic' and 'happy' country, this is really a big deal. I am not blaming her, nor her parents. It is still UP that I find most accountable for the tragedy, as education is a basic right, and there seems to be a massive bourgeoisie takeover in the UP admin and UP system. But, parents can do something to avoid something like this from happening again; that there are values that parents can train their kids with to make them stronger, more resilient. What I'm trying to say is that the family, the school and the society should all work together so things like this don't happen again. Pete knows the lengths that her parents went through to ensure she still makes it to this sem, or the amount of stress and pressure she's getting from whatever family problems they have. But that doesn't mean we have to accept it. Yes, we ask UP for reforms, for a TOFI rollback, for STFAP rebracketing; but we should also teach the kids the value of hardwork, and remind the parents of this. [/edit]

PS. On a lighter note, it is also the reason why I can color my own hair, cut my own hair, curl my own hair, do my own nails and do my own make up; because I don't have money to go to the parlor to avail all of these. Plus I stayed skinny, since I was on a perpetual diet.

Sunday, January 27, 2013