Losing Again

I'm a control freak. I like to plan.

"As he made his morning coffee, Tengo found himself silently wishing that this peaceful time could go on forever. If he said it aloud, some keen-eared demon somewhere might overhear him. And so he kept his wish for continued tranquility to himself. But things never go the way you want them to, and this was no exception. The world seemed to have a better sense of how you wanted things not to go."*

Things NEVER go the way you want them to go. The universe have always had a perverse sense of humor. I've said this since I was in college. Even how carefully and studiously you plan, something happens that just shakes your world and wakes you up, as if to say, you cannot have it so easy. You can't have a perfect life. It does not matter if you work your ass off to accomplish a plan, to reach a goal, to attain a dream. Something's bound to mess up.

I had an ectopic pregnancy which had to be removed after rupturing last week. If I don't have it removed, I might die. I also had a miscarriage 5 years ago. One of the friends who I informed of this told me that there's nothing I can't face anymore, no burden will be too heavy.

Maybe I've gone through all this and maybe I should wear my battle scars proudly, but things just make me wonder. Why can't I have it my way? Some faithful, religious, bordering-fanatic people might say that I should just put everything in some higher power's hand, that we are mere people and we cannot control anything, that what we need will be handed and what we don't will be taken from us inevitably. I have not subscribed to such doctrine. I have offended so many with my beliefs I am aware, but I just can't get myself to believe any of it.

“If a certain belief—call it ‘Belief A’—makes the life of that man or this woman appear to be something of deep meaning, then for them Belief A is the truth. If Belief B makes their lives appear to be powerless and puny, then Belief B turns out to be a falsehood. The distinction is quite clear. If someone insists that Belief B is the truth, people will probably hate him, ignore him, or, in some cases, attack him. It means nothing to them that Belief B might be logical or provable. Most people barely manage to preserve their sanity by denying and rejecting images of themselves as powerless and puny.” *

I'd rather be powerless and puny in certain periods of my life, in certain aspects. Let me lose my mind a bit. But I don't wanna give up and just let some invisible force work its way into my life. I've seen lots whose lives did not get any better after surrendering their lives into some higher power. I saw then falter and finally fall, get buried, forgotten. I won't take that. I'd rather take control. What I believe in is human's power to think, to analyze, to understand, to adapt, to learn.

One of the best messages I received was from a schoolmate back in grade school, we were not even friends then, she was a year younger, all I remember is we always end up at the top of the class and we attend the recognition rites together. As we grew older I saw how our principles coincide, and that's how I felt that we built a friendship deeper than I usually have, despite the distance, despite the differences.

"I don't pray, I don't think I have the words that can provide comfort, you don't deserve any advice from me because I have not known the pain of loss and the hardship of losing control over different aspects of your life at  the same time. But please don't deny yourself of coping as a human being, write, even curse or scream, cry all day, if you have to. Don't deny yourself of the humanity in feeling helpless, of hurting, of questioning, of being vulnerable to the things we cannot explain. You will be in my thoughts and I will hold good intentions for your recovery, from both emotional and physical pain. Breathe, live one breath at a time."

What she wrote is not the cliched "be strong". She understood that more than being strong, I need to cope, to feel vulnerable, to feel the pain, to release the anger, to question everything I believed and did not believe in -- to feel human. After this, then I can go through the waves, then I can get back on track, put fresh grease and get the gears running.

Yes, I might be in limbo, in denial. I don't want to talk to anyone about what happened. That one composition I wrote would be enough to get my message through, to inform people of the gist. This is is me in my weakest, I haven't quite taken control yet. I'm still lost. What has happened to me got me thinking, of my capacity to bear a child, my fertility. What might not be my sole purpose but my husband's expectations of me -- sure he's been supportive, taking all the emotional baggage, carrying the psychological toll and accepting all the financial blows that this brought -- all that's happened might bring him to the edge. He loves me, I know. He brought me to the doctor, the hospital, bought my meds, skipped work, made ends meet, fed me, held my hand, my arm -- in my weakest, my helplessness. He waited, I just hope he does not get tired. He's always been a patient man; cool, reserved, logical. Characteristics that I like so much -- characteristics that I need to regain. But I need to break out first, to eject the toxins. I haven't quite done that yet.

I'll write, I'll read, I'll introspect, I'll create until I climb out of this hill of unwavering emotions. I'll translate all the vulnerability, all the nakedness into something else, until I'm back to my fighting form. I will learn and I will take the world with a bigger worldview. I might get a little more somber after this, but not surrendering, not losing control but taking control

*Excerpt from Haruki Murakami's novel 1Q84.

Dear Raul Dancel

A reply to this social climber rant disguised as journalism.

The Philippines -- Metro Manila might be a ruckus; a dangerous, noisy place to live in. But I'd rather be braving this danger and feeling the vibrant culture, the bass-driven beats, the non-1984* way of life in the country I was born. I'd rather be anything THAN be a stuck-up balikbayan who suddenly feels all high and mighty just because he uses 'lift' instead of 'elevator' and 'takeaway' instead of 'take-out' -- as if those words will give him some effed up sense of entitlement. In case you don't know, BPO employees and Harry Potter fans were able to learn all that without having to leave the country.

I have greater respect for people who can speak 4 different languages -- accents included -- fluently. People who goes from country to country, absorbing and learning different cultures and traditions instead of idioms, slang or whatever-isms they picked up in that place. People who travel to feel small, as opposed to those who do to feel big.

Now, a person who cannot comprehend simple 'Filipinisms' and Filipino way of life-- even if he was born, went through preschool, puberty and adulthood in the Philippines just because he was exposed to a few years of 'Singlish' and 'discipline', should not be writing at all.

And yes, this is another ad hominem tirade, but sometimes, some things must be addressed such that the growing ignorance will be kept at the minimum.

*1984 is a novel by George Orwell depicting a dystopian society where people are so disciplined and anal because they are under the watch of 'Big Brother' and behaving otherwise will literally kill them.

Olivia, will you marry me?

Ang misteryo sa'kin dito ay yung bakit apektado ang karamihan ng tao.

May nakapagtanong na sa'kin kung lumalabas ba ako ng bahay at wala akong pakialam and/or alam sa "misteryong" ito.
Na parang napaka-walang kwenta kong tao dahil sa apathy ko sa hinayupak na billboard na to at sa bagong pelikula ni Piolo.
Mga biktima ng media ang mga naging "curious" dito.
At pasensya kung sa mas importanteng bagay ko tinutuon ko ang pansin ko kesa sa billboard na ito.

Olivia billboard mystery solved
MANILA, Philippines -- Mystery solved, and Olivia said yes.
The "Olivia, will you marry me?" billboards are part of a marketing campaign for Pioneer Woodlands condominium in Mandaluyong.
A new billboard appeared on EDSA that says, "Olivia Said Yes! So we bought our first investment together at Pioneer Woodlands Mandaluyong City."
On the week of Valentine's, mysterious pink billboards with the words "Olivia, will you marry me?" popped out accross main thoroughfares in the metro. Also written on the billboards were the numbers "21414," that many assumed to be Valentine's or the proposal date.
It turns out, "21414" refers to the weekly price of a unit in the said condominium. "For as low as P2,141.4/week," said the new billboards that recently popped out.

News, Math and Science Over Prayers

Please tell me how this prayer thing works. I've been turned off by non-stop prayer requests from the social media like it's gonna make a difference. Prayer doesn't do anything to you or anyone around you; what it does is it makes you believe that you are doing something, for yourself or for others.

And so I have only been sharing news articles, studies, scientific and mathematical facts on social media. Because if you ask me, I'll take news, math and science over prayers any day.

* * *

I hated math, if its expressed in an abstract form that wouldn't benefit me in the practical, real world -- like numbers and letters combined; I can't solve it. Put it in a form of money, of days, of time, then I'll get a better grasp of it. I function better if given a context. This problem must be solved because that's the only way I can determine if the salary I earned will be able to pay for all my expenses, or if the rate I'm doing this thing is enough for me to finish it by Friday morning.

* * *

I tried praying in a especially difficult exam back in college, but it didn't help. Sure I was studying, trying to solve the equations, then by the end of review time, I pray. When I retook the subject, I tried praying again. No luck. By the third time, I lost faith and decided to work my ass off solving the problems -- over and over again. Memorizing the formulas. Understanding mathematical concepts. Then I passed. No prayers involved.

I guess this is one of the reason my faith fell between 2004 and 2008. But the process wasn't easy. Just like finding faith, losing faith doesn't happen overnight. It involves a series of events that would transpire and make you question your values, logic, politics and the people around you.

Like how could this guy be so religious and yet is a retarded cheater who seemed not to uphold any values or moral code in their body? Or why do the archbishops get big-pimpin' cars from politicians? Why do priests and religious leaders endorse a candidate for public office? Why is the Philippine legislature a  helpless victim of the scriptures? Why can't I find REAL separation of church and State? Why are 'celibate' priests meddling with people's sex lives, if they chose to be chaste, why force everyone else to be chaste as well? Fuck, it's not like we're forcing them to fornicate. Why is the Vatican so god-damned wealthy? Why are our holidays all after Catholicism? Isn't it a form of discrimination? If I were in Buddhist/ Jew/ Hindu/ Pagan's shoes, wouldn't I be offended or confused why are we always saying "the Philippines is a Catholic country"? Why are wars fought in the name of religion? Why are religious groups tax-exempt? When I get really broke, should I start a religion to cash in on 'offerings' and tithes? Could it be that Jesus and the disciples are just stoned when they were saying Jesus walked on water, or the Israelites were high as fuck as well when they said manna fell from heaven? If I'm an all-powerful being, would I waste my time taking note of sins committed and listening to people whine about their stupid choices? Why are the LGBTs being discriminated when it clearly said "Love thy neighbor as thou love thyself"? Why is there too much hypocrisy, too much double standards? Why should I run my life based on one book, when there's millions others to be read?

There are even more questions that I asked. Though I don't real wanna bother you with it.

And this led me to some conclusions. 1) Faith does not equate with religion; 2) Having a moral compass is not directly proportional to practicing a religion; 3) Religions divide mankind; and 4) I can't find myself confined by ancient rules when the whole world is moving forward

So I became agnostic. But I realized that's just me being chicken in calling myself an atheist. I guess I'm an atheist. But I'd rather call it humanist. It was a bumpy set of years following 2008 with me out of faith, a little apathetic and stoic, searching -- researching on what I really am.

Until I discovered Buddhism, which is frankly, the only 'religion' which appealed to me. Though I'd rather call it philosophy. There is no immortal, omnipotent higher power in Buddhism, just a bunch of people deciding on their actions, how they live their life and following a path to enlightenment.

* * *

I hated math, but I love how with math, there is always a method to verify if something is correct. I love science and how we can test hypothesis until we come up with a conclusion. Only Buddhism encouraged that, you don't just follow dogma, you are given a deeper understanding, not spoonfeeding; you are taught Newton's law: For every action, there is equal and opposite reaction -- Karma.

I don't apologize if my choice to be logical and rational is not in congruence with anyone else's. I don't pray, I'd rather read the facts.

“Buddhism has the characteristics of what would be expected in a cosmic religion for the future:
It transcends a personal God, avoids dogmas and theology;
it covers both the natural and spiritual; and it is based on a religious sense
aspiring from the experience of all things, natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity."

“If there is any religion that would cope with modern scientific needs it would be Buddhism."

- Albert Einstein

"Bah! Humbug!"

The end of the year hasn't been very good, and I'm not in the festive mood.

I've started nurturing a philosophy in 2012. Basically it is summarized as Eliminate Materialism; Counterculture. But since I'm incrementally embracing the philosophy and lifestyle, my former paradigm is being shaken, got me torn on which path to take - which seemed to be transpiring one after another. I'm in the process of taking risks; in the many facets of my life. All the limbo feeling has got me edgy. I don't know what will happen next. The philosophy is the only reason the waves haven't had me going ballistic yet.

All this apathy... and getting pissed off. You know how they say never underestimate someone's feelings? I could use some of that right now. No one knows how's anyone has suffered really. Some people hide it better than others. When that happen to other people, I just leave them alone and don't bombard them with accusations. I don't tell them they're fucked up and that they're overreacting. I just let them be and sort their shit out (though sorting your shit out publicly - eherm... in facebook, all details included - is a different thing; by doing so you are making your shit available for public consumption; thus undersolicited advice and ridicule).

I have something to say. Though I chose not to tell anyone of you. I'd rather shut up and be stoic about it. I don't need anyone to listen and empathize either, I know I alone can figure it out, resolve it. I won't give you details or hints. I don't need to apologize if I don't feel like celebrating like the rest of you. So yeah! Bah! Humbug to you.

Pet Peeve: 121109

Liking your own status update or picture... and saying "Thanks" to literally everyone who liked it too.

and... 'Friends' who like each other's posts as if it is an obligation (I mean EVERY.FUCKIN.POST) and even remind each other to like each other's post.

What's up with that?! Ohmylourddd!

Pet Peeve: 121105

People who, out of nowhere - suddenly, becomes clingy, compliment-y, giggly and chatty with you. I don't do charity kindness and ass kissing. Puh-leese.

My eyes just get big and round... and can't wait to get out of that scenario, pronto.

Pet Peeve: 121101

I hate people who claim that something (e.g. expression, slang-term, idea) is theirs when you know for a fact, as you were there when it was coined/brainstormed/researched/discovered, that it is NOT theirs; worse, it's yours -- and you have shitload of proof that it's yours.

Major eyeroll.

Pet Peeve: 121031

I've decided that I will post any random pet peeve to record everything that I hate or annoy the living hell outta me.

For today: I hate people who post religious-praise-worship shit online.

Copies

There's something about writing effective status updates. I don't know what it is. Perhaps, conviction. But whatever that is, someone seemed not to have it... and I really wish she's got it so she can express her love for her child more effectively to the public. It's just so painful to read her posts. Ohmylourd, make it stop.

Facebook is your personal ad, make it snappy.

Grow Up (that's a command)

You know how in school there were bullies, the ones who get your lunchbox or steal your lunch money?

I was on the balancing beam. I had friends from the popular clique and had friends who are not the "IT" people. Highschool was that. I survived on wits and finding equilibrium.

I was able to get into a prestigious university for college. I thought all the cliques and bullying was finally over. In the university I went to, people only cared for themselves. It is survival of the fittest minus the backstabbing. It was a university that regarded intellectual honesty as one of its core values. People (mostly) were honestly fighting their way through undergrad (though some may have used tears, connections, etc. to get their way). There were rich kids, poor kids, frat boys, sorority girls; there were parking lot fights, misunderstandings and debates on ideology, principles, and sometimes, their favorite actors. But during the course of my stay in that university. I don't think I've witnessed the classic bullying we all know of.

And so, I faced the real world and stepped into the corporate scene brave to know that all those "Highschool never ends" and bullying shit happen only in the movies, or books; and that people in the real world of adults are mature enough, if not professional enough, to act in accordance to decorum.

But it's not. With the dawn of the social-network-TMI-lifestyle, this became worse. Covert bullying and explicit alienation.

Often I witness this and take the moral high ground by ignoring them. If it's too rampant and is affecting my mood on a day-to-day basis, I unsubscribe/unfollow/unfriend. Sometimes, if it irritates me too much already, or I felt provoked, I tend to play fire with fire.

But to the people who does this on a daily basis. What do you get out of it? A false sense of superiority? Delusion of grandeurs and megalomania, does it make you feel better?

But really, when you think about it, when you dissect the core. Why would you care so much about other people? Much so, the people are not celebrities who have decided to put their lives on the open and public scrutiny to be talked about? What will you get out of it? If it causes you pain, ignore it, otherwise, you're just making the flame so much stronger; and extinguishing the hate in your gut will be so much more difficult.

For me, it illustrates an underlying insecurity. People who are never happy with themselves and their lives – they have nothing better to talk about and nothing better to do. No tales nor anecdotes to share with friends and other people in general; and in effect, you talk about other people. Idle hands are the devil's playground -- a phrase I learned early in grade school after watching that Devon Sawa film. If people are busy and living lives interesting enough, they'd share about their experiences; and not dwell on envy and hate for others.

Grow up. Stop thinking that the world spins around you. If you do that, you'll start minding your own business and just let other people be, too.

On womanhood

Women around my age always gets asked (if they haven't yet) a.) When will they get married? or b.) When will they have a baby?

It gets pretty annoying after the many times it gets asked by the many nosy people, more so if one is an educated woman who have bigger dreams. Someone who at a young age instead of playing mommy to infant dolls; played with world maps and almanacs, was obsessed with the encyclopedia, dictionary and cassette player; someone who refused to play the nanay sa bahay in bahay-bahayan but the mom who drives to the office with her toy cellphone? Why are we stereotyping women to wife and mother roles? Women have different definitions of success and happiness. And WE are capable of making them ALL happen if we stop bending over backwards on achieving what traditional society asks us to be.

How about... When will you win your Nobel Prize? When will you earn your first million? When will you be able to buy your first car, your first house? When will you go to Europe for the vacation you dreamed of? When will you get your PhD? When will you be a popstar? When will I save enough money to buy an RV and tour the entire Luzon coastline? 

No.

I get offended when people tell me they'll pray for me when I'm going through rough times.

I am fully aware though that my view will be highly controversial, if not regarded as the act of the devil.

But really, I get offended.

I'd like to think of myself as someone who reached what I reached, gone through life, became who I am, because of my own conscious effort to be like this. I studied and worked my ass off. I'm strong. I can get past through anything on my own conscious drive to do so and with the support of people around me.

But don't pray for me. Doing so makes me feel and think that I am not in control of things, or my emotions that I'd need an external, sort of magical force to get me through whatever it is someone is praying for me for.

Not Liking Someone to the Verge of Homophobia

I love the gays. I have a lot of gay friends. And I love them. The thing is, same with girls and guys, I also choose which gay I get close to.

I'm an intovert. It might sound weird and funny and pathetic that I'm introverted, but I am... Comes with that is the fact that I sift through all the people I meet and choose who I really wanna be friends with.

Facebook is a problematic area for me. People who meet you and you interact with expect that after 5 conversations; or even 5 sentences directed to them -- that they can add you into their FB list. I've been cleaning up my contacts list time and again. Every office you work at, you're bound to add at least 20 people. At the end of the year -- or when I leave that office, I clean this up and just retain 20 - 50% of the people I added. The rest are just noise that I can probably remove from my life and go on and things won't change, no adverse effect.

You practically coerced me to friend you. So I did, if that's what it takes to keep you quiet. I don't wanna be reminded time and again that I haven't friended you yet; or worse, that your friend request to me is pending -- when the truth is I rejected it (BTW, I unfollowed you and hid your posts already, I'm actually contemplating unfriending you).

Being the introvert that I am, I am not always switched on. There's a bunch of people I switch on for. Unfortunately, you're not one of them. I don't like your humor. It is cheap and it degrades other people. There's prolly a bunch of people awed and amazed with how your humor is always at the expense of other people. Your witty retorts are not enough for my sarcasm. Your egocentric-narcissist-better-than-thou rants may be funny to about 70% of the human population, but I think I can come up with a quip funnier and more substantial than yours at half the time you conjured that last one up. I don't have time for small-talk, let alone leisurely okrayan, if you must. Aaaannnddd... I hate the music you play. It's so redundant, it's so comedy bar, so... trannytown, dragville. I have a lot of gay friends and they don't listen to stereotypical gay music, their brains are a little bigger perhaps than yours that they can listen to music that doesn't involve Whitney Houston or Dreamgirls.

Just to make this sting a little less, the problem is not you. I am a Type A, hedonist, narcissistic, no-nonsense, leftist, whiny, down-with-the-boys, anti-consumerism riot girl. And you are just about everything that annoys me. So please get out of my way as I have better things to do than to look at that flamboyant, know-it-all, right-wing, queen-supreme-wannabe, social climbing, poseur duckfaced mug of yours.

You're killing my zen. And around 10 other people's zen too.

Whatever Happened to SERVE THE PEOPLE?!

I was late because I had to walk the length of Gen. Luna in Tuktukan yesterday night on my way to work. Now I am posting this not because I am a Tinga loyalist, nor that voted for Lani Cayetano with her promise of change towards a better Taguig. I am posting this because I am a TAXPAYER and I don't want any Lani Cayetano or Dante Tinga waste the Two-Grand I INVOLUNTARILY surrender monthly to the BIR for government consumption (if I had a choice, I won't pay for taxes, I can think of better ways to spend Two-Thousand-Pesos - which is on food, clothes and shoes). The people, especially those of us who are EMPLOYED are paying taxes so we can have more convenient transportation, better roads, social services and healthcare, and this is what you DOUCHEBAG politicians give us? STRESS?! On top of the financial stress blatantly imposed to us by the uncannily high taxes despite the poor government services on health, education, infrastructures; the skyrocketing prices and the EHERM - long overdue ACROSS THE BOARD WAGE HIKE. This is so fuckin' lame. LANI CAYETANO, DANTE TINGA, ALLAN CAYETANO, FREDDIE TINGA, PIA CAYETANO, ET AL. Hello?! I don't fuckin' care if this is about vote-buying, vote-tampering or what have you (which of course started from you as well). I don't care about your political agenda and ulterior motives for personal (financial, prestige, political) gains. All I want is that you dimwits SERVE THE PEOPLE like you should, as you have said so yourselves that you are a bunch of PUBLIC SERVANTS. I don't think adding inconvenience to the already horrendous traffic scheme in Tuktukan, and disturbing the peace is not for common good, right? I find it VERY, VERY SELFISH! You are not serving us, instead you are giving all of us a hard time walking round the streets, looking for alternate (but much longer way away) routes and finding public transport! Plus, you're polluting EARTH! After Ondoy, we should've learned our lessons and put sustainable development at the top of our lists! All I'm asking is TRANSPARENCY, CHECKS & BALANCES and ACCOUNTABILITY. Stop playing the blame game. The TAONGBAYAN thinks it's not helping them at all. If there;s one thing that I learned from Prof. Bobby Tuazon's PolSci classes, those are necessary in any government. TRANSPARENCY, ACCOUNTABILITY and CHECKS & BALANCES from BOTH DISPUTING POLITICAL PARTIES in gratitude to the people who ever-so-lovingly voted for them in precincts despite the really sucky election process. This better end soon. Don't stress me. I get really bitchy when I am pissed off. PS: Lani Cayetano, you did not accept my friend request, and your profile is set to private. Why?Are you avoding to be tagged on photos such as these? Photos that depict that reality that you are not really the champion of the masses and the anti-dote to Trapo that you claim to be? PPS: There are days when I wish that I didn't study Political Science so I won't be so god-damned affected. But heck, I am really glad I did, at least I am ranting and rambling on much better causes on Facebook rather than all the other TRIVIAL stuff people these days seemed to be pre-occupied with. January 29, 2011. I was late because I had to walk the length of Gen. Luna in Tuktukan yesterday night on my way to work. Now I am posting this not because I am a Tinga loyalist, nor that voted for Lani Cayetano with her promise of change towards a better Taguig. I am posting this because I am a TAXPAYER and I don't want any Lani Cayetano or Dante Tinga waste the Two-Grand I INVOLUNTARILY surrender monthly to the BIR for government consumption (if I had a choice, I won't pay for taxes, I can think of better ways to spend Two-Thousand-Pesos - which is on food, clothes and shoes). The people, especially those of us who are EMPLOYED are paying taxes so we can have more convenient transportation, better roads, social services and healthcare, and this is what you DOUCHEBAG politicians give us? STRESS?! On top of the financial stress blatantly imposed to us by the uncannily high taxes despite the poor government services on health, education, infrastructures; the skyrocketing prices and the EHERM - long overdue ACROSS THE BOARD WAGE HIKE. This is so fuckin' lame. LANI CAYETANO, DANTE TINGA, ALLAN CAYETANO, FREDDIE TINGA, PIA CAYETANO, ET AL. Hello?! I don't fuckin' care if this is about vote-buying, vote-tampering or what have you (which of course started from you as well). I don't care about your political agenda and ulterior motives for personal (financial, prestige, political) gains. All I want is that you dimwits SERVE THE PEOPLE like you should, as you have said so yourselves that you are a bunch of PUBLIC SERVANTS. I don't think adding inconvenience to the already horrendous traffic scheme in Tuktukan, and disturbing the peace is not for common good, right? I find it VERY, VERY SELFISH! You are not serving us, instead you are giving all of us a hard time walking round the streets, looking for alternate (but much longer way away) routes and finding public transport! Plus, you're polluting EARTH! After Ondoy, we should've learned our lessons and put sustainable development at the top of our lists! This better end soon. Don't stress me. I get really bitchy when I am pissed off. PS: Lani Cayetano, you did not accept my friend request, and your profile is set to private. Why?Are you avoding to be tagged on photos such as these? Photos that depict that reality that you are not really the champion of the masses and the anti-dote to Trapo that you claim to be? PPS: There are days when I wish that I didn't study Political Science so I won't be so god-damned affected. But heck, I am really glad I did, at least I am ranting and rambling on much better causes on Facebook rather than all the other TRIVIAL stuff people these days seemed to be pre-occupied with.