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Ending the night second guessing Charles Darwin and Niccolo Machiavelli. 

Survival of the fittest? End justifies the means?

The universe has a perverse sense of humor and screwing up creatures randomly in sporadic periods of time may be the only way to achieve balance. Things don't just happen for a reason. Things are not predetermined. No one is special. Let's all suck it up. This only is one of the plethora of instances when we feel puny and powerless. But guess what, the good thing is, we are capable of analysing and learning and deciding. And at the end of the day, everything is still up to us.

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Last night I heard news of retrenchment in the company I work for, 25 people ended up without jobs. Effective immediately. Allegedly some performance based, some due to redundancy, some due to cost. I don't understand really, here I am on a leave of absence and somehow I am still secured of a job I can go back to in a month's time, but some people are not. I don't know what really drove this, only the higher ups will really know--Big Brother and cohorts. While the company I work for drives for transparency as much as possible, we all know that in reality, there's only really so much that we can know straightforward; the rest will need major research to be discovered or it will gently unfold in front of our very eyes before we even realize it. People will hide things from you to protect you, or because they need you and they can't lose you, or because it's the only way they'll survive, they'll swim at the expense of you sinking -- without letting you into the real score.

If it was up to me, I'd want dinosaurs to be around. It maybe unsafe but it is fun in a nerve-racking sort of way.

But they're gone and humankind came up of ways to achieve the same "unsafe but it is fun in a nerve-racking sort of way" sensation through cliff diving, sky diving, bungee jumping, among others.

It  really sucks that some of the people who ended up losing their jobs are the ones that I've grown close to, even worse, especially those who I know really NEED the job more than anything. The ones who didn't have an option and just decided to stay because their survival depends on it. I wanted these people to still be able to enjoy the security of job and income, but there really is nothing to be done right now but just hold our heads high and try again. Do what it takes to release emotions, the tension; know that there are people around you who are empathizing. Get mad, cry, question everything in your lives, move on, shrug it off. It might not be an easy feat, but it is part of the human experience; and know that you're not alone -- people suffer and fight battles everyday.

It is sad, that there is no way we can attain balance without having some people being worse off, getting the shorter end of the stick. Pareto in application. There is a balance, though not always rooted on equality and this can lead to the inevitable Marxist grand narrative. But in the end it just makes you feel powerless, people are dispensable; for the big players, we're mere means to an end. We're gonna be living for a much longer time with things like this happening, screwing up our lives one after another. We'll work our asses off with promises of a good great life. We sacrifice because there could be something better waiting for us at the other side. Until the final time when the universe decides that were more of a liability more than anything and we should just cease to exist, and there are no rewards -- just void.