I just found out last night that I am pregnant. Unfortunately, it was an ectopic pregnancy. I don't even know why these things happen to me, first pregnant only to get a miscarriage and now pregnant only to know that it is an abnormality. I am feeling very, very emotional right now. Got me questioning every aspect of my being. Tears are falling uncontrollably. The worst part is the amount of money it might entail to cure this. I feel sorry about my husband. He's the one who'll be going through financial hell because of my condition. I wish things will be better.

On womanhood

Women around my age always gets asked (if they haven't yet) a.) When will they get married? or b.) When will they have a baby?

It gets pretty annoying after the many times it gets asked by the many nosy people, more so if one is an educated woman who have bigger dreams. Someone who at a young age instead of playing mommy to infant dolls; played with world maps and almanacs, was obsessed with the encyclopedia, dictionary and cassette player; someone who refused to play the nanay sa bahay in bahay-bahayan but the mom who drives to the office with her toy cellphone? Why are we stereotyping women to wife and mother roles? Women have different definitions of success and happiness. And WE are capable of making them ALL happen if we stop bending over backwards on achieving what traditional society asks us to be.

How about... When will you win your Nobel Prize? When will you earn your first million? When will you be able to buy your first car, your first house? When will you go to Europe for the vacation you dreamed of? When will you get your PhD? When will you be a popstar? When will I save enough money to buy an RV and tour the entire Luzon coastline? 

No.

I get offended when people tell me they'll pray for me when I'm going through rough times.

I am fully aware though that my view will be highly controversial, if not regarded as the act of the devil.

But really, I get offended.

I'd like to think of myself as someone who reached what I reached, gone through life, became who I am, because of my own conscious effort to be like this. I studied and worked my ass off. I'm strong. I can get past through anything on my own conscious drive to do so and with the support of people around me.

But don't pray for me. Doing so makes me feel and think that I am not in control of things, or my emotions that I'd need an external, sort of magical force to get me through whatever it is someone is praying for me for.

Wedding: The Statistics

There's the pie chart of the wedding expenses. A HUGE chunk went to the Reception/Caterer. That's the way it's supposed to be. Never cut back on your guests. Never serve them mediocre food. All else can be DIYd to save money.

Click image to enlarge

Wedding: The Day

Swagger goods

Queen's kicks

His and her scents

Literally Saved The Date

Prepping up

See my new ink

All prettified up

All dappered up

Even already-married couples get jitters

Ninangs

Ninongs

One of my flower girls

My bridesmaids

The groomsmen

Stoked

Bound

Heaven

Cake (and cupcakes)

KTnxBye

Wedding: The Reception

At first I just wanted to have invitations in bottles, then I, decided to give out wines to the principal sponsors, then the favours came in bottles too and so I, with the help of Kar from k by Cunanan helped me to make it recurring theme. Bottles.

Bottles adorned with flowers in the couple backdrop

Bottles and jars with assorted flowers also adorned the guest tables.

  

Our Paco Park reception

Wedding: The Food

People raved about the food in our wedding. That was a sign for me that the wedding was a success, for the high and mighty I, have a tendency to diss on food served on weddings which are just the usual menudos and pininyahang manok. And I'm not just saying that, I really feel insulted when I come into a wedding all dressed up, dolled up and even with a gift then you'll serve me menudo. Really now? Isn't that like an everyday dinner food?

Pasta, roast beef, carrot rice, chicken something in teriyaki glaze (the one that looks like siomais), herbed corn and the  carpese salad.

Broccoli and cheese soup, creme brulee, mixed fruit compote and picatostes in tsokolate-e

Thanks to Ira who took photos of the food on the wedding, I have an idea of how it looked like to the guests who were served buffet as opposed to the presidential table who had it sit-in.

Wedding: The Favours

They are home-made pastillas. In pink, yellow and blue -- our wedding colors. The bottles were from Divisoria (PhP6.00 each), the stickers were from Robee stickers (PhP2.00 each) and the ribbons from Carolina's Market Market (PhP4.00 per yard).

As for the pastillas it's a secret recipe :)

Wedding: Bride's DIY Projects 2

Now if you paid attention to your THE/HELE classes in gradeschool and highschool, and if your handwriting is as artsy-fartsy-dainty like mine, this will be easy.

The Wedding Coins

1. Asked mom for their old wedding coins (coins dated 1942)
2. Went to the palengke to have it cleaned

Here Comes The Bride Signage

1. Buy illustration board
2. Get scissors and cut up a heart from the illustration board
3. Using the black side of the board, chalk in the words 'here comes the bride' in the daintiest way possible.

Secondary Veil

1. Buy tulle from your fabric shop
2. Buy lace from your fabric shop
3. Cut up the tulle into an oval
4. Sew around the jagged edges of the tulle the border lace

Just Married signage for the Combi

1. Buy illustration board
2. Buy multi-colored chalk
3. Write 'Just Married' in your cutsiest handwriting. Date and place optional
4. Add in sunshine, butterflies, bees, trees, fluffy clouds, hearts and everything that reminds you of your happy place

Primary Veil

1. Buy the finest tulle in the fabric store (in this case: I bought the shiny one that's closest to my gown colour)
2. Buy shiny white beads
3. Cut the fabric into an oval
4. Sew in the shiny white beads at the edge of the fabric (about 2 inches off the edge)

Wedding: Bride's DIY Projects

Here are some of my DIY projects. I'll give you no brainer instructions, to make it fancy, use your imagination.

The Match for the Candle Sponsors

1. Buy a standarad match
2. Get a wrappring paper in your wedding colour
3. Get some scissors and glue and wrap the wrapping paper into the match
4. If you have a monogram, stick it in

The Ring and Coins Pillow

1. I got a small square pillow lying around
2. Using the leftover fabrics from the entourage dresses, cut up pieces the size of the pillow
3. Style as you please (in this case, I used blue fabric with a pink "runner" in the middle and yellow ribbons, to make sure all wedding colours are represented
4. Sew them up together
5. Use ribbons to fasten your rings and coins

The Wedding Cord

1. Get a nylon string in your craft store
2. Buy beads in your wedding colours
3. Start beading, think of creative patterns (in this case: It's blue-pink small beads alternated 50 times, then a big pink bead to close off the 50, then a bigger yellow bead/button, then the pink big bead again, and so on...)
4. Make it into a big number 8, each hole must be big enough to fit a grown person's shoulder

The Flower Girls Baskets

1. Buy a generic basket in DV
2. Get your nylon string and beads again and start beading (blue-yellow-pink for this)
3. Once you have enough strings of beads to use, twirl the string of beads around the basket handle and secure them using a gluegun
4. Put more beads where you want the beads to go around (in this case: around the base of the basket)
5. Buy pink paper (I don't know what they're called) and stick it into the basket, secure using a gluegun
6. Pour rose petals into the baskets.

Petals and confetti cones

1. Buy wrapping paper in your wedding colours
2. Cut them into about 8x8 squares
3. Style them into cones
4. Secure the cones with adhesive tape or stickers (in this case: used the leftover name tags)